The Hallway

August 19th, 2013 § 1 comment

“ In life when one door closes another always opens, but the hallways are a bitch.”(Ronnie Kaye, author of Spinning Straw into Gold)

You feel as if your life is in an incessant state of limbo. You RSVP “Regrets” to wedding invitations, you don’t take holidays and make no commitments. All you do is wait. This is the life of The Hallway dweller.

Your friends and family’s lives zoom on by—yet you stand still, time but a blur. Looking out from within The Hallway. You rejoice with those hoo rejoice, yet are always secretly saddened by the life-sized lacuna you hold in your heart.

rosebud

You have no choice but to go through The Hallway to get to the door that will uncertainly eventually open. You see the light streaming through from under the door like the morning sun gently searing through the darkness of night. Most of the time it feels like a mirage, but it draws you in…too beautiful to ignore.

You may move the hands of a clock to suit you, but you do not change the time; so you may hurry the unfolding of God’s will, but you harm and do not help the work. You can open a rosebud but you spoil the flower. Leave all to Him. Hands down. Thy will, not mine. ─Stephen Merritt

Several times during this adoption process we’ve thought that the door was about to fling wide open. It doesn’t. We don’t know why our case has to take so long when many others with whom we started out with have been home with their kids for well over a year. We don’t understand why we have to be the first Canadians with our agency to go through the “new (immigration) process.” Or why things like travel visas are taking up to 5 months now, instead of 5 days like they were before. The only thing we know for sure in this nettlesome conundrum is that she is wholly & completely worth the wait.

xoxo_liz

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